Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bring me that man meat
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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