at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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