i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
