Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
