He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i out mim tonsoeep
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