my soul wont recognize me after tonight
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
