I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
