Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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