that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
