Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
