before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have aggressive nipples.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
