Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
