she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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