70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize