I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize