am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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