I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
