Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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