The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
