I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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