someone get that fucking seahorse.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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