So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
