just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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