I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
