when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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