I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
