Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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