I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
