Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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(303): View more from Colorado

I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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(916): View more from California

17 year olds will be the death of me.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.

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(850): View more from Florida

I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i think i just lost a toe

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