Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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  (313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5
  Replies (16) Good night (940) Bad night (2814)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (644) Bad night (4099)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Me and my dog bond so much when im high.

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  (407): Me and my dog bond so much when im high. http://tfl.nu/9nf2
  Replies (66) Good night (7481) Bad night (904)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.

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  (620): I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8ema
  Replies (9) Good night (5368) Bad night (926)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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  (336): I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable. http://tfl.nu/7b9p
  Replies (12) Good night (3477) Bad night (1625)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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  (519): I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex. http://tfl.nu/xdk5
  Replies (11) Good night (4225) Bad night (791)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .

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  (+44): Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning . http://tfl.nu/qry6
  Replies (13) Good night (3688) Bad night (1437)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.

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  (778): She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/9heo
  Replies (12) Good night (1905) Bad night (572)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.

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  (360): Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass. http://tfl.nu/ehtn
  Replies (8) Good night (1855) Bad night (561)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave

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  (608): I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave http://tfl.nu/hose
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (477)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.

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  (318): U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off. http://tfl.nu/1s94
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Of course. Go big or go home.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You're my fucking queen.

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  (330): Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship? (856): Of course. Go big or go home. (330): You're my fucking queen. http://tfl.nu/faru
  Replies (1) Good night (949) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

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  (506): That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room http://tfl.nu/htix
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (385)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  make it buy you a drink first

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  (302): my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor (412): make it buy you a drink first http://tfl.nu/jxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.

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  (512): I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual. http://tfl.nu/irow
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (317)

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