Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like death gave me a hand job
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i think i just lost a toe