Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  sorry. that wasn't for you

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  (732): Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep (732): sorry. that wasn't for you http://tfl.nu/2avz
  Replies (31) Good night (1973) Bad night (5150)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"

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  (856): She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk" http://tfl.nu/d5n3
  Replies (12) Good night (6963) Bad night (1039)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  this will be a night to untag.

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  (435): this will be a night to untag. http://tfl.nu/f6xw
  Replies (6) Good night (7760) Bad night (1144)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.

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  (219): I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window. http://tfl.nu/kuhj
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (2825)
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  (424): View more from California

  he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety

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  (424): he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety http://tfl.nu/36fw
  Replies (12) Good night (3523) Bad night (825)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

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  (410): I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house http://tfl.nu/84we
  Replies (5) Good night (1717) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

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  (813): Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant. http://tfl.nu/yfmm
  Replies (7) Good night (1285) Bad night (772)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1222) Bad night (1811)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.

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  (+61): remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice. http://tfl.nu/vzpo
  Replies (21) Good night (4338) Bad night (582)
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  (650): View more from California

  Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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  (650): Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america http://tfl.nu/igww
  Replies (8) Good night (1747) Bad night (474)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.

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  (305): It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/6i5r
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (1078)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives

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  (513): I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives http://tfl.nu/f744
  Replies (6) Good night (1640) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats Poetry

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  (610): Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is. (919): Thats Poetry http://tfl.nu/gxmw
  Replies (7) Good night (817) Bad night (318)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.

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  (585): I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright. http://tfl.nu/bzkq
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (193)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (255)

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