i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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