OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
