i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
