So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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