We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
