i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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