he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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