You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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