someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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