This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
