I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
