just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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