I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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