FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize