At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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