Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
