I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
