Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
