6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
