I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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