I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize