was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
