pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
