you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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