To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
