hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
home. puking in laundry basket.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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