does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize