Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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