You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
