guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
