Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize