Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
