Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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