i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
