yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
