her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
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I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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