Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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