Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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