Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
