I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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